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Say Smackadee Doich
Funny Quotes
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A love song that i put together
How to keep a healthy level of INsanity
Poems about life
For Nick
Poems about everything
Poems about life
Golf Jokes for the Bedroom
True friendship means.....
A Dysfunctional Hallmark Store's cards
F-ed up things people in court have actually said
Things you should know but dont
For Dad
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
The Story of Rikki Tikki Tavi
The Raven
The Tell-Tale Heart
The Story of St. Valentine
Funny Quotes
Poems about friends
Did you just say that you have hooters on your ice cream?
Would you like to smell my special?
Have you seen the Muffin Man?
Lifes Little Questions
Poems About LOVE

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A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
- Robert Frost

 

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
- Bill Vaughan

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
- Unknown

 

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

 

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
- Woody Allen

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
- Albert Einstein

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.
- Unknown

 

When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken
- Unknown

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
- Noelie Altito

I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs.
- Nancy Reagan, former First Lady

I

I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with.
- Rodney Dangerfield

I just thought of something funny...your mother.
- Cheech Marin

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
- David Letterman

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein

 

When on the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress!
- Unknown

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?
- Lisa Claymen

A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead.
- Stan Laurel

One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool
--Edgar Watson Howe

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Unknown

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Joel, 14, Advice from Kids


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