Can you cry under water?
How important does a person
have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then
why is sandwich meat round?
do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you
get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before
we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to
go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're
do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two
people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart
attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look
at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Why do toasters always have a
setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they
tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and
no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's
Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME
crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing
the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when
it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that
when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?